2.25.2011

FORGIVE ME!!!!!

I am fed up with these two words now.. is it so easy to say this??
Really i can't ... is it so easy to escape by telling these two words
after ruining some ones mood??? i don't know...
 Yesterday one came and sat beside me.A friend .. just a
classmate.. as usual, started talking unnecessary things... i too
joined... within a short span of time,the number of the gang
increased(my dearest friend is an expert in making a lot of fake
friends). the session changed to that of something called a  'gang
blast'. suddenly one among them asked me: "why you are like
this?There are some huge mysteries around you,that's why you
are so silent." and she burst in to a laughter.everyone joined and
me smiled. it was over . later , the  girl again came to me and
asked a lot of things.. but it was very easy for me because she
had answers with her for all the questions! atlast she left by
slapping me and with a sweet advice on how to live
successfully!!!..and as an ending note.."please forgive me if this
hurts!"(so she understood that i was hurt)
 But i left it there... because i started to learn how to forgive those
who treats me like an ass....
but yes , the debris remained... somewhere inside...
  Today evening,i was sitting inside my room with a cup of coffee
actually to take a long breath-in after such a tiring day. suddenly
my phone rang..it was one of my dearest friend who is now not in
terms..
she started the call by saying... "Please forgive me my dear.... i
have no problem with you.. i am doing all this to teach our mutual
friend a lesson...i know that it hurts.. but please forgive me..."
  ..........................................................................I don't know
why............... i bursted out.... i talked with her very rudely.....
many things were going inside my mind...
 whom all should i forgive??? i have to forgive my classmate to
unfairly intruding in to my privacy and hitting my feelings... i have
to forgive my co-passenger for hitting my head with her huge
umbrella.. i have to forgive this friend for acting indifferently like a
stranger to me.... i have to forgive my old friends for leaving me
alone because i was not in contacts for a while(they never asked
the reason)....i have to forgive many people who broke my heart....
i have to forgive those who made me hate my life, i have to forgive
my soulmate for removing me from his life, i have to forgive the
one who put my life upside down with sweet dreams and
ambitions...... i have to forgive myself for being alive in this stupid
world......
 I could not.... i shouted... and said her that i will not.... i will never
forgive anyone anymore.. many times, we forgive people because
we want them in our life again... and i dont want
anyone....ANYONE.. in my life ..... leave me alone.... please.....i
want to be like this....why the hell you interfere in my life and
freedom...i may die,i may live..who are you to ask???what you
thought about me?? am i an jackass to grant everyone free
'pardon'?? i want to be like this..leave me alone!!! i hanged up the
call....
     yes ... i was rude..... i know... your voice changed... you never
expected that from me..... i know...
  PLEASE FORGIVE ME MY DEAR.......FORGIVE ME!!!!!!
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7 comments:

  1. anupamaFebruary 28, 2011 at 8:14 AM

    Dear Sruthi,
    Good Evening!
    Welcome to blogosphere!:)
    It's good you started blogging .....you've your own space now to share your feelings and express the thoughts from the depth of your heart...
    I find you a very emptional and sensitive person in you and I can relate so well.
    ''Worrying does not solve tomorrow's trouble,
    It takes away today's peace!''
    Still I will say....Forgive...Enjoy life...let go...Life is still beautiful...
    Wishing you a lovely evening,
    Sasneham,
    Anu

    ReplyDelete
  2. SruthiMarch 1, 2011 at 4:32 AM

    thanks anu.... thank you for the sweet welcome...yes i will treasure this in my life..
    i know that life is beautiful.... but sometimes somethings hits us in depth...
    sure friend, i feel like in a place where i can share my thoughts and feelings....
    thank you again for a nice enchanting wish...
    along with the welcome,may i demand a sweet frienship too?

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMarch 1, 2011 at 11:54 PM

    "i have to forgive myself for being alive in this stupid world......"

    wooman, if ye are thinkink of kummittink suviside....let me, dhe vise jintilman, adwise yoo....i sei dhat dhe best vay iz to braik haaf-a-duzen sleepink taiblets intu partickles and dizzolwe dhem in yuver kup of kofee! vithin toovelve minits, yoo die!! menshion not. B-)


    orupadesham tharaaam....DON'T be silly, pretty lady! but well, 9.5 out of 10 ladies are pretty silly. [including your 'derailed' friend neethu/neeya. don't forget to tell her this!]

    3 things.

    1] learn to empathise

    2] keep conversing with the other 'you' i.e. your alter ego. {self-criticism will help}

    3] finally, the birbal magic! ever heard about birbal's diminution of a long ray by drawing an even longer one? it's a talisman, young woman.

    oru vallya varaye cheruthaakkaan...you don't have to erase it....athilum vallya oru vara varachaal mathi. ketittille?

    so when the chips are down, look around...and go to people who drag on despite life's ordeals. as for me, i don't have to go far. i just have to walk down to my grandma's bed....for the last 23 months, she's been 'dying'...but not yet dead. athilum worse aaya avasthakal undennariyaamallo. SIMPLY LOOK AROUND. and when you find time, read this --

    http://rohithramdas.blogspot.com/2009/06/talisman.html

    self-promotion alla. just my take of things.

    "Life is essentially absurd." - Camus

    and it is our choice...whether to sing a dirge or an ode to life. better perceive the glass as half-full!

    take care :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. SruthiMarch 3, 2011 at 3:52 AM

    wow...... thanks rohith..
    i was talking to many about the situation that i am going through... many told me such a lot of things that could not even touch the layer...
    But this one is simply great and thanks for that....
    And thank you for spending your valuable time on this...
    andddd....... dear Mr. wise gentleman,
    i am not going to die....;-)
    angane ippo aarum mohikkanda.....
    i want to be more stupid again in this big stupid world...
    this is my time of reincarnation....
    trying to get out/burst out of the chrysalis...
    actually i am fed up being so silly ;-)
    again ...thank you my dear wise gentleman..(from now onwards it will be DWG)-for the convenience of typing..

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMarch 5, 2011 at 2:17 AM

    My dear dear dear Sruthi.....
    What the heck has happened to u???/How dare you feel like this when we all are alive in the same Earth?/?....
    I loved your sincere thoughts and Frank presentation..........
    Welcome to the Blogosphere buddy.....
    Great start:))

    ReplyDelete
  6. SruthiMarch 5, 2011 at 3:18 AM

    it happened my dear....
    most bad foolishness happens to great people right?? ;-)
    thank you for your sincere wish...
    how are you??? how was university youth fest??
    how is life going??
    anyway,take care my dear...

    ReplyDelete
  7. ShaunaApril 8, 2011 at 11:16 PM

    Your posr is very brave, Sruthi. You seem to
    be an honest person caught up in the worlds's
    unethical ways.

    ReplyDelete

your views are my treasures..

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