ABLUTION OF PSYCHE

Who told that life is worthless .......might  be a fool ..LIFE is so pure and it is really an enigma .It's my belief.Today

,I just felt a small wind while travelling though my ways of life.IT MADE ME REALISE THAT LIFE IS

REALLY SOMETHING WHICH CANNOT BE EXPLAINED........It was a zephyr that actually made a

big tree  fall down to ground.(It's all much frozen around here).And I really like it.To be frank,now I have

really started to stop existing in this wide universe.(The cold mist is increasing)Life is not prolix till the

psyche  in us is still making imaginations for the very next moment.(I am getting frozen).Let me regain one

of my oldest experiences from my unconcious mind which is still active in me,..................
It was at an evening ,i noticed a single  ray of light falling on my forehead.Usually,as some teacher's words

"apply science in every seconds of life" ,Everyone thinks like that .But unfortunately I thought about the

thoughts of that ray......it will be thinking that "I am so unlucky..I was not able to fall on earth..."Yes it is

.....it's all awesome when we stand with our own active psyche on earth...........................................................
Oh god , please forgive me.........I was not ready to live in this world ............Yes, I existed.But I failed to stand

straight at this eath,this spontaneous earth..BUT FROM NOW, IWILL LIVE........WITH AN

INSPIRATION.........................................ALONG WITH MY DREAMS.................MY LIFE..........AND

WITH MY SOUL WHICH IS DRIPPING AWAY FROM  MY HANDS.............
                                  
   Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do.
  But to hold it together when everyone else
   would understand if you fell apart,
    that's true strength.
     -unknown

FORGIVE ME!!!!!

I am fed up with these two words now.. is it so easy to say this??

Really i can't ... is it so easy to escape by telling these two words

after ruining some ones mood??? i don't know...
 Yesterday one came and sat beside me.A friend .. just a

classmate.. as usual, started talking unnecessary things... i too

joined... within a short span of time,the number of the gang

increased(my dearest friend is an expert in making a lot of fake

friends). the session changed to that of something called a  'gang

blast'. suddenly one among them asked me: "why you are like

this?There are some huge mysteries around you,that's why you

are so silent." and she burst in to a laughter.everyone joined and

me smiled. it was over . later , the  girl again came to me and
asked a lot of things.. but it was very easy for me because she
had answers with her for all the questions! atlast she left by
slapping me and with a sweet advice on how to live
successfully!!!..and as an ending note.."please forgive me if this

hurts!"(so she understood that i was hurt)
 But i left it there... because i started to learn how to forgive those

who treats me like an ass....
but yes , the debris remained... somewhere inside...
  Today evening,i was sitting inside my room with a cup of coffee
actually to take a long breath-in after such a tiring day. suddenly

my phone rang..it was one of my dearest friend who is now not in

terms..
she started the call by saying... "Please forgive me my dear.... i

have no problem with you.. i am doing all this to teach our mutual
friend a lesson...i know that it hurts.. but please forgive me..."
  ..........................................................................I don't know
why............... i bursted out.... i talked with her very rudely.....
many things were going inside my mind...
 whom all should i forgive??? i have to forgive my classmate to
unfairly intruding in to my privacy and hitting my feelings... i have
to forgive my co-passenger for hitting my head with her huge

umbrella.. i have to forgive this friend for acting indifferently like a

stranger to me.... i have to forgive my old friends for leaving me
alone because i was not in contacts for a while(they never asked
the reason)....i have to forgive many people who broke my heart....
i have to forgive those who made me hate my life, i have to forgive
my soulmate for removing me from his life, i have to forgive the
one who put my life upside down with sweet dreams and
ambitions...... i have to forgive myself for being alive in this stupid
world......
 I could not.... i shouted... and said her that i will not.... i will never
forgive anyone anymore.. many times, we forgive people because

we want them in our life again... and i dont want

anyone....ANYONE.. in my life ..... leave me alone.... please.....i

want to be like this....why the hell you interfere in my life and
freedom...i may die,i may live..who are you to ask???what you
thought about me?? am i an jackass to grant everyone free
'pardon'?? i want to be like this..leave me alone!!! i hanged up the

call....
     yes ... i was rude..... i know... your voice changed... you never

expected that from me..... i know...
  PLEASE FORGIVE ME MY DEAR.......FORGIVE ME!!!!!!

Is it possible to find reasons behind everything we do?? So this blog too dont have any special reason to be told... but can be concluded as a place where i can disclose many things that i would love to scream aloud to the world that is around me.... i was searching for something..for a start... but unable to find any....
And not sure that i will never be able to find many things that could be spelt wayside...... so i might never be regular.... And suddenly one day you may find me dashing out very cruely without even saying a goodbye.....  i am never regular.... on anything.....
  ok.... let us start... this is not my first blog..... once very serious... once very much selfish and now its mixed...... ;-)
      stepping in to my new platform......... with the usual shivering when i face a croud...
                              MAY I????